Roller Coaster

This past week has been such a roller coaster of emotions! The day we buried Grandpa I got a call from my husband that my little boy was going to be admitted to the hospital for a MRSA boil on his knee. I am not going to get into that whole experience in this blog but that among all the other "stuff" going on I have not been doing ok. Not at all. I guess I don't feel things, who wants to if these feelings cause pain. On top off all that I think parts of me are invisible. Right now I don't feel like that's a good thing........

Goodbye Grandpa

So yesterday at 1:25 my grandpa passed away. We knew it was coming. He has been having issues for the past month but that still doesn't prepare you for the actual event. I am not sure it has really hit me yet. I feel numb inside about it. I think that is cause I wont let myself feel it yet. A therapist once told me she didn't think I "felt" things. I didn't really know what to think of that at the time but I guess she was right. Like right now I feel very alone and sad but instead of really feeling that I am going to hide in my bed and try to sleep it off (like that will work....ha!) I am sure I will wake up feeling the same way but the day will keep me busy and I wont think about it again until the next quiet moment I have.
Maybe I should go back to therapy.
Anyways I will miss my grandpa very much.
Goodbye Grandpa and I love you!!!!!!! :(