Tuesday, November 25, 2008
escape
as the kids played with play-doh(and ate some) i looked at blog sites for escape. searching for something that would take me away, give me good feelings, help me think things are still ok and good.....I had some luck.
life crisis? depression? baby blues? stress? all i know is it sucks!
on another bright note (ha ha).......
doing the dance 24/7............?
what does that really mean??? i know what it means to me............i know how it made me feel when it was said to me.......i know all the thoughts that followed but what does it really mean????? anyone???
life crisis? depression? baby blues? stress? all i know is it sucks!
on another bright note (ha ha).......
doing the dance 24/7............?
what does that really mean??? i know what it means to me............i know how it made me feel when it was said to me.......i know all the thoughts that followed but what does it really mean????? anyone???
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
It's Raining, it's pouring.......again
I should not be surprised by the way things go but I still get blown away. It's amazing. What's really amazing is how many things in one day, in just a few hours can can start going wrong.
This morning it starts with the TV. It went out....? Who knows, last night it was fine,this morning dead.$$$$$$$$ I went to get coffee and they gave me the wrong size......really? really? Come home the 3 years old is having a meltdown cause she can't get her shirt on but refused to have any help. The 2 year old is eating his breakfast and his tray falls off causing everything in his highchair to fall to the ground. He starts screaming, he got scared. The bowl with his oatmeal in it breaks. The dogs are having a great time finishing his breakfast but I get cut in TWO places and am bleeding. Now the dogs have gas and keep farting whenever they come by me. That has been just two hours. I can't wait for the rest of the day.
Monday my husband calls me to come and get him from work cause he was told they were letting him and about 20 other people go and I found out a dear friend's cancer has returned and this time there is nothing they can do. :(
I think I am being tested............
This morning it starts with the TV. It went out....? Who knows, last night it was fine,this morning dead.$$$$$$$$ I went to get coffee and they gave me the wrong size......really? really? Come home the 3 years old is having a meltdown cause she can't get her shirt on but refused to have any help. The 2 year old is eating his breakfast and his tray falls off causing everything in his highchair to fall to the ground. He starts screaming, he got scared. The bowl with his oatmeal in it breaks. The dogs are having a great time finishing his breakfast but I get cut in TWO places and am bleeding. Now the dogs have gas and keep farting whenever they come by me. That has been just two hours. I can't wait for the rest of the day.
Monday my husband calls me to come and get him from work cause he was told they were letting him and about 20 other people go and I found out a dear friend's cancer has returned and this time there is nothing they can do. :(
I think I am being tested............
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Good Night!
Good food, good drinks, good friends, GOOD laughs, good lips and good night sweet Marla!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Roller Coaster
This past week has been such a roller coaster of emotions! The day we buried Grandpa I got a call from my husband that my little boy was going to be admitted to the hospital for a MRSA boil on his knee. I am not going to get into that whole experience in this blog but that among all the other "stuff" going on I have not been doing ok. Not at all. I guess I don't feel things, who wants to if these feelings cause pain. On top off all that I think parts of me are invisible. Right now I don't feel like that's a good thing........
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Goodbye Grandpa
So yesterday at 1:25 my grandpa passed away. We knew it was coming. He has been having issues for the past month but that still doesn't prepare you for the actual event. I am not sure it has really hit me yet. I feel numb inside about it. I think that is cause I wont let myself feel it yet. A therapist once told me she didn't think I "felt" things. I didn't really know what to think of that at the time but I guess she was right. Like right now I feel very alone and sad but instead of really feeling that I am going to hide in my bed and try to sleep it off (like that will work....ha!) I am sure I will wake up feeling the same way but the day will keep me busy and I wont think about it again until the next quiet moment I have.
Maybe I should go back to therapy.
Anyways I will miss my grandpa very much.
Goodbye Grandpa and I love you!!!!!!! :(
Maybe I should go back to therapy.
Anyways I will miss my grandpa very much.
Goodbye Grandpa and I love you!!!!!!! :(
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
State Fair
On Labor Day the whole family went to the state fair. We saw all the animals, walked through all the barns. Walked through all the remains in the barns. It was great. The kids really liked the animals, well most of them.
The next day I was taking the kids to the doctor for the girl to be looked at for MRSA. I hear laughing in the back seat, I turn around and see the baby licking the bottom of his shoe. The girls finds this VERY funny and starts to lick the bottom of her shoe. YUCK!! So I do my best to explain to them that this is very yucky and the day before they had walked through poo and now they were licking poo on their shoes. This didn't stop them from thinking this was funny. I finally convinced them to stop but the baby decides to take off his shoe and starts licking the bottom of his foot.............ew
All I can do is laugh to myself.................it's no wonder they have MRSA.
The next day I was taking the kids to the doctor for the girl to be looked at for MRSA. I hear laughing in the back seat, I turn around and see the baby licking the bottom of his shoe. The girls finds this VERY funny and starts to lick the bottom of her shoe. YUCK!! So I do my best to explain to them that this is very yucky and the day before they had walked through poo and now they were licking poo on their shoes. This didn't stop them from thinking this was funny. I finally convinced them to stop but the baby decides to take off his shoe and starts licking the bottom of his foot.............ew
All I can do is laugh to myself.................it's no wonder they have MRSA.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sleep and MRSA
Again I am needing sleep and will get some very soon. I just needed to give a small update.
Both kids are sleeping, both puppies are sleeping, the teenage is at a girls house (a senior woo hoo) and the husband is performing so I have peace and quiet. I thought I would get a ton of "stuff" done tonight but as it turns out all I wanted to do was sleep. Right after this it will happen.
The baby went to the doctor the other day (again!) for another rash and strange bumps. Turns out this time it's MRSA. http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dhqp/ar_mrsa.html MRSA!!!! How does this happen??! Daycare that's how! UGH! Poor baby. He has had everything you can think of. Eventually he will have the strongest immune system of any kid out there. The doctor has put him on an antibiotic that seems to working quite well. His skin looks great and he is acting great but now I think his sister has caught it. She has two strange bumps on her. One on her tummy and one on her back. They don't look as bad as the ones the baby had but I am still pretty sure it's MRSA. Back to the doctor we go!
Both kids are sleeping, both puppies are sleeping, the teenage is at a girls house (a senior woo hoo) and the husband is performing so I have peace and quiet. I thought I would get a ton of "stuff" done tonight but as it turns out all I wanted to do was sleep. Right after this it will happen.
The baby went to the doctor the other day (again!) for another rash and strange bumps. Turns out this time it's MRSA. http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dhqp/ar_mrsa.html MRSA!!!! How does this happen??! Daycare that's how! UGH! Poor baby. He has had everything you can think of. Eventually he will have the strongest immune system of any kid out there. The doctor has put him on an antibiotic that seems to working quite well. His skin looks great and he is acting great but now I think his sister has caught it. She has two strange bumps on her. One on her tummy and one on her back. They don't look as bad as the ones the baby had but I am still pretty sure it's MRSA. Back to the doctor we go!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I am back
I knew this blogging thing was going to be hard to find time for but now that things have settled (for the minute) I will try to get back to keeping up with it. I know you are all dying to know what is going on my my exciting life. HA
more to follow soon......................promise!
more to follow soon......................promise!
Monday, August 11, 2008
UGH!
So here it is.
My husband as been telling me I should blog for a while now. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or even should. I had a feeling it would all be negative and maybe it will. I guess we will find out. There is so much going on and so much venting to be done. This is the best way I can think of right now to let it all out.
It seems that when it rains it pours. It's been pouring for so long I don't even remember rain. Mostly it's about money and what to do about it. Money, evil money......when you have it it's not so bad. When you don't it's a killer. Everything is so behind. The cable gets turned off, the electricity gets turned off, car payments are behind, my husband tells me the mortgage payments are quite behind (and tells me today we should start looking to move), ortho bills need paid (at this rate I will have braces forever), the list goes on and on. How did it get like this??? Well, I do know but I just never thought I would be in this position. It doesn't seem that long ago things were going great. Money wasn't an issue. We had it and enough of it so much so I guess I took it for granted. I suppose it didn't just happen overnight and it has been a while we have been struggling. My brain has been avoiding the topic of our problems cause it's easier to pretend things are going to be ok. This is not usually how I work but the stress has taken over and I am not me anymore. I am just a mass of stress.
My husband as been telling me I should blog for a while now. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or even should. I had a feeling it would all be negative and maybe it will. I guess we will find out. There is so much going on and so much venting to be done. This is the best way I can think of right now to let it all out.
It seems that when it rains it pours. It's been pouring for so long I don't even remember rain. Mostly it's about money and what to do about it. Money, evil money......when you have it it's not so bad. When you don't it's a killer. Everything is so behind. The cable gets turned off, the electricity gets turned off, car payments are behind, my husband tells me the mortgage payments are quite behind (and tells me today we should start looking to move), ortho bills need paid (at this rate I will have braces forever), the list goes on and on. How did it get like this??? Well, I do know but I just never thought I would be in this position. It doesn't seem that long ago things were going great. Money wasn't an issue. We had it and enough of it so much so I guess I took it for granted. I suppose it didn't just happen overnight and it has been a while we have been struggling. My brain has been avoiding the topic of our problems cause it's easier to pretend things are going to be ok. This is not usually how I work but the stress has taken over and I am not me anymore. I am just a mass of stress.
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